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Is this all there is to life? How to stop living in grey and start building a Life in Colour
- May 12
- 3 min read
Updated: May 13
If someone had asked me a few years ago what colour my life was, I would have said beige...maybe grey on a bad day.
From the outside, everything looked fine. Great job, busy schedule, keeping it all together. But underneath I felt disconnected, exhausted and desperate for something to change...I just didn't know what or how, and that felt so uncomfortable!
If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know something: there IS a way through it (been there, done that!).
"Is this it?"... the question nobody wants to admit they're asking
It usually starts with tiny shifts that you might not even notice to begin with...a subtle feeling of restlessness, the Sunday evening dread...you probably wouldn't describe it as a full blown crisis but something is definitely 'off'.
Maybe you feel like you're going through the motions, ticking boxes and wondering when you're going to start living life on your own terms again.
For some people it shows up as total exhaustion that sleep never seems to fix. Sometimes it's snapping at people you love, or doom scrolling and then feeling 1000 x worse. Sometimes it's just a quiet knowing that 'I really can't go on like this'.
This is what burnout tends to look and feel like before we start to give it a name. And it's so much more common than you think...you're not alone!
Why we 'lose our colour'
Here's what I've noticed in my own life and in the lives of the clients I work with: we don't lose our sense of self all at once. It happens gradually in the small daily compromises we make without realising we're making them.
We say yes when we mean no. We put everyone else first. We define ourselves almost entirely through our work, our roles, our productivity and somewhere along the way, the parts of life that bring us joy, creativity and connection start to shrink.
And because it happens slowly, we barely notice until we're deep in it.
The wheel of life: an honest look at where you are
One of the first things I do with almost every client is the Wheel of Life. It's a simple tool that looks at eight key areas: work, health, relationships, money, fun, personal growth, family and rest, and asks you to rate how satisfied you are with each one right now.
It takes five minutes, and it has a funny habit of showing you things you already knew but hadn't quite let yourself look at!
👉 Try the free interactive wheel here
When you see your wheel, notice what stands out. Which areas are full and rich? Which have started to fade? And crucially...is this the life you chose, or the one you ended up with?
Who are you, outside of what you do?
Some people find the next bit a little confronting but it's where the magic starts to happen...so stick with it!
So much of our identity is tied up in our roles. Our job title. Whether we're a parent, a carer, a high achiever. And when something in that world shifts (a redundancy, the kids leaving home, a health scare, a milestone birthday) it can leave us asking: 'so who actually am I?'.
This is one of the most powerful questions I explore with clients because on the other side of it is something genuinely exciting: the chance to choose who you are, deliberately and consciously, across every area of your life (not just the work part).
That's what building a Life in Colour means to me. It might not always be perfect but it is certainly full of the things that light me up and make me feel like myself.
Where to start
The good news: you don't need a dramatic overhaul (phew). The best place to start is by having an honest look at where you are and get curious about what needs a little more of your attention.
Try this: finish these sentences without overthinking them.
Outside of my job and roles, I am someone who…
Something I used to love that I've quietly let go of is…
If I gave myself permission to be more fully me, I would…
Ready to explore more?
If something in this post has resonated, if you're nodding along and saying 'yes, that's me!!' then a discovery call is a great place to start.
It's a free, relaxed conversation about where you are, what you're craving and how coaching could support you.
A solutions focused Life & Wellbeing Coach based in Oxfordshire and Online
